My Song

12 06 2011

This film demonstrates how I felt growing up, with no one understanding my communication needs. I was given a FM radio system for school and told to get on with it. My social needs were totally disregarded. I know too well, the farce of pretending to understand what’s being said, then being told by my family ‘You can hear perfectly well when you want to’. Being unable to sign, I wasn’t part of a deaf culture either – heck, I didn’t even KNOW such a thing as a deaf culture existed. When I first got to know other deaf people, through Friends for Young Deaf People, the other young deaf people told me that I’m not deaf as I didn’t sign (oh, the irony!).  I just felt so stuck between the deaf and the hearing.  It’s bad enough when hearing people don’t understand and won’t meet you halfway, but when deaf people won’t meet you halfway either, that’s a real kick in the teeth. Deaf people who won’t accept you as a deaf person and deaf people who say you shouldn’t be using sign language – both are reprehensible. We’re all entitled to acceptance and to communicate in our chosen way.

Now that I can sign (not fluent though), lipread and hear, I can live my own life in my own way. I have great friends from both cultures – who can hear, lipread, and sign – and I wouldn’t change this for anything.

Thanks to Billy and Charlie for giving us another blinder!

Signing to all deaf / Deaf people!

20 11 2008

Middlesex University researcher Catherine Carlton wants to contact members of the Deaf community n a project looking at the importance of BSL to Deaf identity. The research aims to highlight the importance of British Sign Language to the Deaf community and explore Deaf Identities.

if you would like to help by completing the questionnaire, the link is HERE

There is a £100 prize draw for all those who answer the survey.

Thanks for hilighing my website to others, however, I am sorry to say we’ve suffered a bit of an overload on the server, and it’s currently being fixed.

If anyone wants to fill out the questionnaire, then they can email me at and I will let them know as soon as it’s up again.

Please accept my apologies for the problem, and I hope this doesn’t put you off helping me with this very important reseach.

Catherine Carlton.

Where’s your deaf identity?

21 01 2008

I’ve grown up feeling like I’m part of a different race, that I’m an ‘In-Between’.

I wasn’t hearing (because, obviously, I can’t hear) and was seen as Different by the hearing world. I wasn’t Deaf according to Deaf Culture (because I didn’t sign). There is a part of the deaf community that feels strongly that deaf people who can’t sign (BSL) aren’t really deaf. To me, that just shows ignorance, or would someone please explain this one to me.

I’ve not grown up signing because it was my parents’ choice that I should be able to speak and fit into the hearing world. This would maximise my opportunities for getting on in education and work. If I was only able to sign, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today – I would have missed out on so many opportunities. I see BSL as a way to *enhance* my communication skills. I believe in total communication – use whatever you have, and don’t rely on just one method of communication if one method is more problematic for you. There is no reason why a deaf person can’t learn to speak and use speech as a means to communicate. Relying only on BSL is being lazy and expecting hearing people to conform to your BSL world is selfish and inflexible. Yes, hearing people do expect you to be able to fit in and use their means of communication, but they are in the majority. They will try to meet you half way and accommodate you, if you try to accommodate them by using speech.

I just don’t understand why BSL 1st language users feel the need to exclude other deaf people and put themselves up on a pedestal saying “BSL Culture” is special – it’s not. Deaf culture need not be exclusive. By excluding other deaf people, they are shrinking deaf culture! If BSL users want “their” culture to grow then they have to accept newcomers. How am I not deaf if I can’t hear? Where is the logic in this? BSL users say they don’t need assistance therefore they are not deaf. How am I not deaf if I don’t need any assistance for my disability? Of course I need assistance – I need technical aids to communication (textphone, flashing fire alert, pager) and human aids to communication (interpreter, lip speaker, palantypist, Hearing Dog). Some hearing people become deaf due to medical injury and decide to learn BSL, like my friend Jeanette. According to a lifelong BSL user, she is not deaf and therefore not a part of deaf culture, and does not have a deaf identity. I find this very hard to understand. Can anyone enlighten me?

I find deaf culture and BSL is very interesting as I have struggled, believe me it has been damn hard sometimes, to get on at university without communication support, to get on in the world of work, to have a decent social life. The social life is the hardest one to overcome and the only way to really make a success of that is to learn some sign language and meet other deaf people. Learning sign language has opened up new doors for me and made my life much richer. So I felt as if I had been slapped in the face when I was told by a whole group of BSL users that I was not deaf because I couldn’t sign (at the time) – this happened on a training course for deaf people. If this is the attitude of today’s Deaf BSL users, they need to wake up and think this through properly. Deaf isn’t about being able to sign and not to communicate with people who don’t sign, it’s about being unable to hear and having to make adjustments to make real communication a possibility. To be sure, becoming deaf or being deaf and stuck in a hearing world is difficult and you will embark on a ‘journey’ of self-acceptance and acceptance of your hearing loss, before discovering your deaf identity. Now that I can sign up to a point, and have met other deaf people, I have developed my own sense of identity and accepted that yes, I am deaf, yes I do need communication support, yes I am not hearing, and yes, I am happy with being deaf. I’m at the end of my journey.

Basically, I’m a hearing person with ears that aren’t perfect. I’m a human being too, I just happen to have a hearing loss. If you don’t like it, if it doesn’t fit in with what a hearing person thinks I should be able to do, well that’s tough. This is me. I’M DEAF. DEAL WITH IT.

See Hear are researching identity issues between the deaf and Hard of Hearing. If you are interested in taking part, please contact Angela Spielsinger on the See Hear team angela.spielsinger at

Angela would like some stories on experiences of Hard of Hearing people who were brought up in mainstream education and their preferred method of communication is oral, this resulting in issues of feeling torn between two worlds, where they felt they couldn’t fit into either the deaf or hearing world.

Many people are not aware what it means to be hard of hearing, so See Hear want to research this for future possible stories. They are looking for stories that are based on past experiences or issues occurring today.

If you want more details, please contact Angela.